One of my favourite books, usually in the begining left hand corner on the third shelf : The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey, caught my attention yet again.
Here is one of my favourite parts :Empathetic Listening
Covey lists 5 ( five ) levels of listening :
* Ignoring
* Pretending
* Selective listening
* Active listening
* Empathetic listening
The first four are the common ones but Empathetic Listening is the one rarely practiced.
Its LISTENING WITH AN INTENT TO UNDERSTAND.
Getting inside the person`s frame of reference ( I love to call it getting in the other person`s skin ).
Empathy should not be considered synonymous with Sympathy. The latter is a form of agreement ,the most apt emotion at that time and makes the person dependent.People feed on sympathy.
On the other end of the spectrum, Empathy does not mean that you agree with the teller but that you fully understand the person emotionally and intellectually.
Empathetic listening is the key to making deposits in the Emotional Bank Account and being deeply therapeutic and healing it gives a person “psychological air” : a need next to the basic need of physical survival – to be understood,to be affirmed.
And once that vital need is met the Coach can then focus on problem solving.
