Empathetic Listening : Steven R Covey

One of my favourite books, usually in the begining left hand corner on the third shelf : The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey, caught my attention yet again.

Here is one of my favourite parts  :Empathetic Listening

Covey lists 5 ( five ) levels of listening :

* Ignoring

* Pretending

* Selective listening

* Active listening

* Empathetic listening

The first four are the common ones but Empathetic Listening is the one rarely practiced.


Getting inside the person`s frame of reference ( I love to call it getting in the other person`s skin ).

Empathy should not be considered synonymous with Sympathy. The latter is a form of agreement ,the most apt emotion at that time and makes the person dependent.People feed on sympathy.

On the other end of the spectrum, Empathy does not mean that you agree with the teller but that you fully understand the person emotionally and intellectually.

Empathetic listening is the key to making deposits in the Emotional Bank Account and being deeply therapeutic and healing it gives a person “psychological air” : a need next to the basic need of physical survival – to be understood,to be affirmed.

And once that vital need is met the Coach can then focus on problem solving.


Author: Shalini Verma

Hi ! I am Shalini Verma and I help people to Achieve continuous inspiration and success , aid them to FREE energy from patterns and programmes that no longer serve them , partner with them to CREATE energy by putting into place regular work and life practices that are inspiring and sustaining and to MOBILIZE energy by taking intentional action into new oppurtunities and adventures . If you are ready to make inspiration and success your daily reality......then we are ready to go !

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