Emotional Intelligence Coaching

One of my favorite books on coaching is: Emotional Intelligence Coaching: Improving performance for leaders, coaches and the individual by Stephen Neale, Lisa Spencer – Arnell and Liz Wilson.


What made me pick this book was the Foreword written by Sir John Whitmore – “I believe that Emotional Intelligence and coaching are inseperable…..the book focuses on emotional intelligence first, indicating that it is the foundation stone for good coaching; it goes on to address the basics of coaching and then to tie the two together.”


It’s a book I highly recommend especially for the coach community. Not that my peers are not ‘emotionally intelligent’ already, but the book is sure to add value in some way or the other; both to them at an individual level and to their clients via their further sharpened skills.

I have personally received a lot of value from this book. One of the gems I picked up is ‘The EI COACH model’ (Page 152-153) which is a unique amalgamation of the process of coaching and the principles of EI (Emotional Intelligence). The authors have developed the model around the acronym

E (emotions)

I (intelligence)

C (current)

O (opportunities)

A (actions)

C (change measure)

H (how are you feeling now?)

The benefit a coachee would derive (over other models) is the ability to gauge his emotional wellness ( barometer) during the coaching sessions, between them and even after the coaching intervention is complete, if this model is used well.

With exercises and questionnaires to develop one’s own emotional intelligence and thereby be instrumental in helping the coachee develop his/her own, this book is a rich resource.

I agree with the authors “ Asking someone who is not emotionally intelligent to coach others is like sending a newly qualified driver out on the roads in a Formula 1 car.” (Page 48)


Author: Shalini Verma

Hi ! I am Shalini Verma and I help people to Achieve continuous inspiration and success , aid them to FREE energy from patterns and programmes that no longer serve them , partner with them to CREATE energy by putting into place regular work and life practices that are inspiring and sustaining and to MOBILIZE energy by taking intentional action into new oppurtunities and adventures . If you are ready to make inspiration and success your daily reality......then we are ready to go !

3 thoughts on “Emotional Intelligence Coaching”

  1. Hi Shalini and others:

    Two points that strike me as important in this discussions are:

    -We all have an innate gift of “emotional intelligence”, but for some, that gift has not been well developed. Books can help us understand the “why”, but the “how” often comes from making a conscious decision to relate to others emotionally; NOT “touting” emotions, but actually emoting, which can be difficult for someone not comfortable with feelings (their own and others”).

    -What about “emotionally intelligent” folks who work in and with “emotionally impoverished” organizations? No matter how much EQ you possess, you will be singled out if you wear your feelings on your sleeve in an organization where the “unspoken” cultutre frowns upon touchy-feely stuff!

    Hope this helps add a bit to this discussion!



  2. Hi Anil, thanks for the thought provoking points that you have raised here! In the second point, the choice rests with the individual – whether to look out for an ’emotionally intelligent organization’ or ‘Be the change that you want to see in others’ – Gandhi.

  3. Hi Shalini,

    Thanks for the quote by Mahatma Gandhi!

    Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we are held hostage within organizations that are in a state of emotional devolution. There is such a thing as “toxic nourishment”, believe it or not. We know that we are unhappy, but continue to stay for a variety of reasons; often times, because “moving on” seems more difficult than hanging on, despite the emotional abuse and battery (not unlike personal relationships).

    Consider a fish that has lived and survived in muddy waters, where she only gets to eat dirt and muck, day in and day out. What if you were to take her out of that setting and put her in crystal clear, fresh waters for a change? We humans too make a conscious choice to take the abuse, until something changes within us and we muster the courage to break free! What follows can be extremely painful and traumatic, albeit rewarding. At moments like those, some people appear in our lives, magically and providentially! I have learned to value those people because they are very few and far between! They pass through our lives when we need them the most…

    I admire you Shalini for your courage and determination in everything that you do!



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