QUOTES ON ATTITUDE

““It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect it’s successful outcome.”
–William James

“I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”
– Martha Washington

“To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.”
––Muhammad Ali

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”
–– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ts not what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life ;it is how you handle what happens to you.
Zig Ziglar

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What happens when a Coach is challenged to supply an answer ? (As posted by me on Linkedin )

In most training programs for peer coaches and mentors the curricula focuses on their ability to understand and support the peers, partners and clients with whom they interact. A common element of most coach training manuals, for example, is an emphasis on listening skills and an admonition to stay in the listening role and refraining from giving answers or advice.

But what happens when the partner or client directly asks, “What would you do if you were in my shoes?” “How would you handle this situation?” or “What do you think I should do about this?” In other words, what happens when the peer coach or mentor is being challenged to supply an answer or some advice? How would you handle it personally ?

Renouned Coaches and Trainers in their own right have shared their insight on this question :-

Answers :
 Ray Miller
 (Energy expert, educator, award winning sculptor)

If it is really not a good idea to give an answer and it really is best to have the coachee work it out themselves I usually say something like, “Well describe for me the options in detail, with the pros and cons laid out.
Often during that process the light will go on for the coachee and they know what they need to do.
If it is acceptable for me to give an answer I do. BUT typically not one.
In these cases I often offer a couple of options AND their pros and cons and work with the coachee to still have them make a choice.
If I am still pressed for an answer I have actually said on a couple of occasions, you get paid for the answers, I get paid to train you to know what the answer is. IF you want me to answer I will but then I am doing you job and would appreciate getting your salary………

Scott Byorum
(Author, Artist, Director of Business Development)

Shalini,

I think it is ok to pass out a little opinion or direction in certain conditions, but a more effective way is to ask a question to the question in order to steer the decision making process back to the person being coached:

Q: “What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
A: “Well, let’s examine the facts of the situation again together so you can come up with the best course of action…” (state facts and ask their opinion about each one… the idea is to help them break the situation down into the steps that lead into a solid decision)

It would be prudent to point out that this is their decision ultimately to make to avoid from them resorting to your opinion in the future or retaliating against you for bad advice.

– Scott
 Bjorn Martinoff
(Senior Executive Coach, Global Trainer & Consultant)

Here are some options you have as a coach, and all will depend on the situation, no two coaching sessions are ever he same and that’s the beauty of coaching. There is always something new.

1) Acknowledge the question and make the coachee aware that it is much more powerful for herself to come up with the answer. As a coach I don’t want my coachee to become dependent on me giving the answers. Coaching is asking good questions. Giving advice is not bad however its not coaching. A mentor could give advice or a friend could give advice.
As coaches we have a distinct role to fulfill.

2) Check the emotional state of being of your coachee. He/she may not be in a powerful and resourceful state of being at that moment and this in itself than presents itself as a coaching opportunity. Get them into a more powerful state and than explore the question again

3) Check the level of confidence of your coachee and help them access a confident state of being. Again this is a coaching opportunity.

4) The bottom line is that as a coach I see my clients as whole and complete and capable of answering any question. My job as a coach is to guide them through questions in filtering out that one answer that will work for them. In the end the coachee is the expert in her life and her career and I am an expert at asking good questions. When at the end there is an answer that the coachee has chosen powerfully and that will work in her life, than we have succeeded.

Please remember that after a coaching session the coachee should not only have clarity but also more confidence in himself.

If your coachee is already in a powerful state have him lay out all the options at hand than explore the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats for each option.

You can even go as far as ranking each area in terms of importance and add them up. This will provide much insight, clarity, confidence and power.
 
 

Barry Goldberg

(Executive and Leadership Coach/ Team Catalyst)
Hello Shalini,

I think you have gotten some good counsel here, so I will address the question from a different point of view.

To my mind, this is a very dangerous question. It is either an indication that the client does not understand the nature of a coaching relationship or that s/he does not have proper respect foer the boundaries. It is, in short, a test. Answering it directly changes the relationship I have with my client (sorry, but I despise the term “coachee”). If I answer the question, I fundamentally undermine the integrity of the coaching relationship- and I turn myself into a consultant. Answering undermines the client’s trust in their own judgment and shifts the accountability for answers to the coach. It mya relieve the client’s temporary stress and feed the coach’s ego- but the longer term effects are much more damaging. So, what would I do?
I would vary my style for handling these things depending on the nature of my history and relationship with the client, but here is the path I would walk down:

1. Remind the client that his answers are the ones that matter- perhaps by asking what he wants to learn from what I would do.

2. Confirm that I will not answer in order to sustain the integrity of the relationship.

3. If it is not clear, prompt for distinctions about the emotional upset. Why is this issue so much harder than others? I often find that the root of such a stymie is a client’s attempt to address an emotional issue with logic or some other disconnect of domains. I want to be certain that the client understands the real challenge(s).

4. Once we have addressed the anxiety of the challenge, then we can begin to break the issue down in a practical coaching manner, maybe by brainstorming possibilities.

Good luck

 Frank (Francesco) S. Adamo
The Godfather of Effective Communications


Interesting, I was mentoring someone and she asked “What should I do?” I had been waiting for her to ask “What would you do?” She never did. I would’ve done something different.
If the person is a personal friend who is asking for advice, then I might consider saying what I would do, but even then, I would be very careful how I would offer my advice.
But to answer your question, I would say “I can’t answer that question,” especially if you’re being paid as a coach. First, if you say what you would do and he/she decides to do what you would do and the results are not good, could he/she take legal action against you? I’m not sure. That’s one reason I would refrain from answering the question.
Secondly, I would advice him/her that I do not know the actual people and the exact situation you are involved in, and what I would do may not and most likely would not be proper unless I was in your shoes. I then would continue to say that as your coach, I’m here to help you to clarify your situation and help you to decide what you want to do. If I interject what I would do, I would not be acting as your coach. I’m here to assist you in finding your own solution.

Hope that helps a bit.
 Ramon Ruiz
Senior Sales and Leadership Techniques Expert Designer.

I do one of the following
A. I give the answer.
B. I give him that kind of look, like saying “we both know that you know… please, c’mon”.
C. I say “I don’t know, it’s your business, not mine.”
D. I tell an example of another client in his same situation that has already solve the same problem.

Ramon

Clarification added 8 hours ago:
…and please, don’t follow exactly what in those trainings tell you.
Build your own style with your clients, with your practice.

 George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CEAP
Anger Management/executive Coaching for Physicians

Shalini,

This is quite common. The answer comes with experience. It is critical that the coach is at all times in charge of the coaching session.

Regardless of the clients questions, it is the coach who determines the response. It is best for the answers to emerge from the interaction between the coach and the client rather than a direct response to the participant.

Coaches who are clinically trained interviewing have many opportunities to develop skills in art of listening and assertive communication.

Thanks for your question.

Akash Chander
Country Service Manager at LogicaCMG, Coach and Trainer

As a coach, it is easy for me to get into a counselor`s or a consultant`s role. And that`s a trap. I have come across this situation plenty of times and I handle it in the following ways:

1) provide a direction but not the answer
2) ask more questions and help the coached to get more aware of his/her dilemma
3) find out how the coached could find the best person to answer the question
4) last but not the least, if it does mean giving an answer in the best interest of the coached, then go ahead and give it! no rule, method or process is as important as the interest and well being of the coached!
 
 Maria Marsala
Motivational Business Speaker & Business Strategist

Well, now you know why I added consulting to my ‘bag” of offerings.

The answer to the question, IMO, using coaching terms is: If you did know what to do , what would you do? or throw it back… If you were in my shoes in this situation, what do you think you’d do.
I do offer clients the situations I’ve been in and what I’ve done… or situations of clients (w/o using names, places, etc) and tell them what they’ve done.

And then I always say, it’s up to you.

Seem to have worked these past 9 years.

Words Of Wisdom

        The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
Frank Loyd Wright

A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience.
Elbert Hubbard

There is only one success–to be able to spend your life in your own way.
Christopher Morley

Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving.
Dennis Waitley

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.
Vince Lombardi

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–which is:
Try to please everybody.

Herbert Bayard Swope

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.
Josh Billings

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.
Earl of Beaconsfield

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration.
Evan Esar

Impatience never commanded success.
Edwin H. Chapin

The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do, well.
Henry W. Longfellow

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
Shakespeare

Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.
Albert Einstein

Business leaders turn coaches for young managers (Economic Times : 10th December )

NEW DELHI: In the last one year, a bunch of industry leaders in the country have turned certified mentors and coaches.

Take the case of RPG Group’s technology businesses president & CEO Pradipta Mahapatra. He is now a certified master coach from the Behavioural Coaching Institute, UK. Similarly, Totus Consulting MD Ganesh Chella has trained in Australia, Elgi Equipments MD Jairam Varadaraj, and HP’s G Inbavanan have become trained business coaches. So did former Sify chairman and the current president of TIE’s Chennai chapter R Ramaraj, who became a coach six months back. There are many others following suit.

So much so, the rising demand for good coaches led Mahapatra and Chella to set up an institute — Executive & Business Coaching Foundation — to train and produce coaches. The institute is now into its second batch, the first programme having already trained and certified 12 coaches including CEOs, MDs and other business leaders. “There’s a clear paucity of good coaches in India,” says Mahapatra. “And we have a programme for business leaders who love sharing their knowledge and experiences.”

Though a new trend in India, business coaching as a profession is fast catching on for several reasons. Youngsters today take on higher responsibilities early on in their career and require the support and mentoring from people who are experienced and understand their needs at that level. Private equity funds, which are increasingly investing in big ventures, also want young entrepreneurs to get the much-needed support. More than that, the need for senior guys to discuss their problems and challenges has given rise to the demand for coaches who are at par with them and are better placed to understand their dilemmas.

In the West, US for instance, coaching is one of most sought after and lucrative profession fetching a fee of anything between $200-500 per hour. Ramaraj of TiE, who became a certified coach six months back and is a senior advisor for Sequoia Capital India, feels that only those individuals who have the zeal and aptitude to coach could justify this kind of a job. “I interact with youngsters a lot and get to hear about a lot of ideas. If I am able to help them even a bit with my experience, I will be happy,” he says.

Though mentoring and coaching has always been a part of a leaders’ job, in a changed paradigm, it has taken on a whole new meaning. While there’s a crucial need for businesses to coach people and bosses, they are constrained on resources and time. This has opened up a great deal of scope for an external coach or someone who can provide time and has the expertise to deal with various issues.

“Today, a boss has less time to listen to his or her subordinates and to take it to a personal level is like asking for too much of the person,” says Mahapatra. “Hence, it helps to get people who have the interest as well as expertise to be a coach and mentor. And who could be better for that role than business leaders themselves, who have seen the ups and downs of businesses.”

Besides, an increasingly global work environment and lack of people for senior executives to talk to, about their problem, too makes room for individuals who have the interest to take on the task. “Expat leaders are coming to India in hordes and taking up the challenge to understand a new work environment and a diverse culture,” says G Inbavanan of HP.

“They need the support and a coach, who has seen the business closely, would be a better option for him. Same for the senior leaders who need people to confide in, but can only trust those who are at par.”

Corporate India gets the coaching context right (Economic Times :2nd October 2007 )

From the days of Arthasastra to now, managing business has undergone a sea change. If Chanakya etched his name in the annals of history as the man, who guided King Chandragupta to build the Mauryan empire, it is now the age of business and executive coaches to call the shots.

Organisations and CEOs in this era can now turn to the services of a coach, who do not remain an information centre but engage the management, hand-holding them. The latest HR mantra is helping organisations to usher in a coaching culture, which will develop managers to become more coaching-oriented in their functioning style.

“The higher one goes, the more lonely you get and tend to seek professional help,” notes HR expert Zahid Gangjee, who has over 30 years of professional expertise.

Attributing the complexity and pressures of modern living to the lonely syndrome, he said for the past five years or so, the help requests have risen. “We have seen dysfunctionals at workplace and had to work at levels much deeper than what seemed on the surface,” he said, adding fixated and tightly holding on to behaviour was a common pattern.

Executive and business coaching has now made its formal entry into India, with the Coaching Foundation India becoming the first recognised organisation that accreditates coaches. Until now, coaches were accredited in the US or Australia.

Development of leaders is central to an organisation’s improvement. Drawing inspiration from fields of counselling, adult learning, sport psychology and consulting, business coaching has rapidly achieved the status of a powerful profession with immense potential, notes Murugappa group former chairman MV Subbiah.

Says Blueshift chairman Sankaran P Raghunathan: “Management gurus and consultants give insights into competition, regulation aspects and work out winning strategies but coaching is different. It is not about how to run the company but about knowing and harnessing the hidden strengths.”

It is a personal therapeutic counselling that can help plug the accountability factor, especially in family business. “Coaching can unleash the potential on a one-to-one or person-to-person basis in a non-threatening manner,” he said, noting that the impact of a coach on a CEO and senior executives is a long-term one.

Managers are expected to wear the coaching hat more often than their managerial hats. Likewise, CEOs are desperately seeking a sounding board and wanting to partner with someone, who can help them navigate their business challenges and realise their full potential, notes Totus Consulting founder-CEO Ganesh Chella.

The six-month training programme is priced Rs 2.5 lakh at the corporate level and subsidised by half if the sum is borne by an individual. “Leaders can be helped to reach their true potential if they can partner with someone, who has the competence and commitment to the cause of development,” he added.

Organisations need to be hand-held and they must provide platforms for engagements. People should learn and practice methods prescribed by the coaches, certified master coach and RPG group technology business president and CEO PK Mohapatra said.

Learn by others’ experience is the way ahead for those in high corporate positions, says ehealth Technology Business Incubator chairman Shivaram Mallavalli.

“Teaching industry is all about application. In an era, where businesses and technologies are emerging, coaching executives and CEOs is critical. It is better to learn from other’s mistakes instead of traversing the path of learning by committing the mistakes all over again,” the Bangalore-based professor noted.

Coaching not only facilitates a 360-degree assessment by the individual, willing to get coached, but a peer review post-coaching is possible as measurement of result is always an issue. Today, managers do not have the luxury of the time needed to mature into their big roles, notes an HR expert.

How well does coaching work ? As posted by me on Linkedin

How well does coaching work ?

Evaluation in the coaching and mentoring industry is put being put under the microscope of late.

As Dr Bob Garvey, of the Mentoring and Coaching Unit at Sheffield Hallam University said, “As the coaching and mentoring industry continues to grow, more and more coaches and their clients are looking for effective ways of evaluating their coaching programmes.

“Evaluation benefits clients in that it allows them to ascertain the benefits of any coaching programme they have been using – and even to compare it against more traditional methods of training. It’s useful for coaches too, in that it shows them both their strengths and areas that could do with more work or experience.”

This question is addressed to all the coaches we have on Linkedin and also to other members who have been coachees at one point of time.Do you think coaching is really effective?Has it helped you achieve your goals which you set out for yourself?

Thank You .

Luis K. Ayala
Application Development Group Supervisor at IE DIscovery

Hello Shalini,

You pose two questions, so I offer two answers.

1) Do you think coaching is really effective? A: It can be very effective, but in order for that to happen it needs to have a willing/eager “coachee” (trainee) and a skillful coach.

2) Has it helped you achieve your goals which you set out for yourself? A: Not always, but even in situations where I did not achieve the exact goals I wanted, the lessons learned through the coaching experience justified going through the process.

I think that consciously or subconsciously we are all coaching and being coached throughout the day. We lead by example and often follow the example set by others. When you get to choose which examples to emulate (from whom, and get their support), and you are prepared to make personal changes, coaching can be very enlightening.

Hope this helps,

Luis

 Michael Senoff
CEO: JS&M Sales & Marketing Inc.
 

Coaching works. People want to know that there is someone who cares and on their side. But for coaching organization, there are problems. One is that they can only coach so many people before they have to hire others to do the coaching. I have found using recorded audio to solve this problem. I’m Michael Senoff the Founder and Executive Editor

My site has over 117 Hours of FREE Downloadable Audio Interviews
With Sales, Marketing and Business Success Experts.”

It’s the world’s leading FREE digital audio business library that uses the power of personal interviews and storytelling to capture and relay the advice of world-class business experts. Get free audio interviews of the experience and guidance of business leaders on the subjects of business growth, direct marketing, business buying, writing, effective advertising, referral marketing, negotiating, product development, marketing consulting, and the art of buying advertising. Here is a page for my site that will show you how I am able to coach using audio interviews without training others to do it for me.
 
 George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CEAP
Anger Management/executive Coaching for Physicians

The effectiveness of coaching depends on a number of factors:
1).The Training and skill of the coach.
2). The Motivation of the participant.
3). The Participants readiness for change.
3). The Coaching curricula/material used.

I provide Executive Coaching/anger management for “disruptive physicians”. I use a battery of non-pyschological assessment instruments which includes a Pre and Post Test. This test also determines the participants level of motivation to change.

If at the beginning of the assessment, the client is not motivated to change, in lieu of coaching, the client should be offered “motivational interviewing” to prepare him or her for change.

All coaches should use a pre and post test to ascertain the usefulness of the intervention provide.

Physicians are execellent clients who tend to value learning.

George Anderson, BCD

 Jaideep Khanduja
General Manager

Everyone is a coach and a trainee in real life. A coach does not closes his ears/heart/brain to learn anything new. So at the same time a coach or trainer is a trainee too. Best way of measuring the benefit is the result. Every coaching has a goal and timeframe. If the goal is achieved 100% withing that timeframe, coaching is 100% effective else the effectiveness varies between 0-100. True that the traditional methods of coaching are not as effective as the non-traditional ones. My percption is every trainee requires a different set of coaching or training. The same coaching or training can not be 100% effective for a group. The effect of a training in a group will always vary from trainee to trainee. So ultimately it is one to one coaching that can produce 100% results provided the coach has the ability to understand the focal point required for each of the individual trainee in a group.

Clarification added 3 days ago:
Coaching is a marvellous activity to enable someone achieve something that seems to be unachievable. Every man and woman is a coach in his own wisdom, experience and knowledge that increases with the increase in these 3 factors. Straight cut evaluation of coaching can be done by the degree of achievement for the purpose of which coaching has been imparted. A coach may not always succeed in achieving 100%. A general misconception among coaches is that they apply the same formula/pattern for a group. All members of a group may not be at the same level of perception/absorption/preparedness and the same formula or set of instructions or training may not bring them up to the same level, hence coaching or mentoring at one to one level is much more beneficial initially to bring a group to a certain level from where they can be driven together to achieve higher goals/targets.

 Ramon Ruiz
Senior Sales and Leadership Techniques Expert Designer.

Shalini,

Yes it works and it works for both parts: for the coachee and for the coach.
In my experience as a sales coach, I notice the results that in my clients with the following measurements:

About the coaching structure:

She or he:

-returns or calls back to the 2nd session
-stays for a month, three months, a year, then three years
-pays on time
-arrives or call on time
…in shorts, he takes care of the coaching process.

About the coaching content, the coachee is:

-honest about the breakdowns he’s experiencing in his sales domain (he doesn’t test me if I know or not)
-he has pressure (from his company, wife or pocket in getting results fast)
-the way he talks is that he assumes responsibility of his own situation (it’s not ‘outside him’: the boss, the product, the company or else)
-starts ‘thinking’ the REAL ‘thinking’, not just having thoughts (you know? that kind of look saying: ‘maybe he’s right’ or, and this is crucial, ‘I haven’t thought about it in that way’ or ‘OMG!’ or sharing ideas about that he knows what he must do in order to sell)
-starts taking action
-stops procrastinating
-stats getting results
-starts earning money
-has a mini breakdown but, recovers quickly
-maintains action, less distractions, more focus, more effective actions

BUT is a process and it contains setbacks and disappointments.
For me is a learning process, always. For my clients is a discovery, awareness, action, earning money process.
Ramon

Clarification added 3 days ago:
…and I agree with Luis answer.
Also, in my own interpretation, the coaching industry is a teenager and soon it will arrive to the majority of age.
So all the evaluations, serious evaluations that can do to coaching are welcome.
 
 Jim Moore
Partner, The National Writers Group, LLC

Shalini,

It takes both parties — the coach and client — committed to the endeavor and open to the reality that no plan of action survives, intact, the first encounter with frustration and human foibles.

We coach public speaking — an act feared more than death — and whether we’re working one-on-one with a high-level government official, or a small group of executives in a modestly-sized company, or someone who is trying to overcome the jitters or outright phobia of making an acceptance speech, we stress patience, flexibility, and practice as keys to success.

Coaching, at least in our field, is more art than science. It’s effective when the client and the coach click … when there is that “aha” moment that both recognize. It’s completely, and predictably, ineffective, when either party (or both), come at the problem with a “take no prisoners” approach.

A good coach finds the client’s comfort zone and works within it, gently pushing the edges, building confidence and/or skill a little at a time. Done that way, coaching can be very effective, and tremendously rewarding, both for the client and the coach.

Jim

 Frank (Francesco) S. Adamo
The Godfather of Effective Communications

As with most of the answers so far, coaching can be quite effective — certainly for the coachee if he/she has a good coach and can be effective for the coach if he/she is a great listener and a learner. You also have to accept mistakes as a coach and sometimes we will make mistakes.

People can use coaches even if they, themselves, are coaches. It depends where you are at in life. Right now, I’m helping coach a group in career transition. Someone in career transition (and I’ve been there) can have difficulty focusing on their goals, how to understand their strengths and weaknesses, etc. They need guidance from an outside, objective, view.

In my opinion, and coming from a chemistry background, I believe a coach is a catalyst — an inert object that is added to chemical to start a reaction. Without a catalyst, the reaction won’t start.

In the same way a person who needs a coach can’t restart his/her life without that catalyst. That’s why a coach (catalyst) is so important and effective if he/she is there to help the coachee gain focus, goals and passion.

Words Of Wisdom

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.
George Bernard Shaw

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins – not through strength, but through persistence.
Buddha

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging
on after others have let go.
William Feather

Shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.
Les Brown

It is never too late to be what you might have been.
George Eliot 

Behold the turtle.
He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.
James Bryant Conant 

There comes that mysterious meeting in life
when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be,
igniting the circuits of our highest potential.
Rusty Berkus 

As the rose-tree is composed of the sweetest flowers and the sharpest thorns, as the heavens are sometimes overcast — alternately tempestuous and serene — so is the life of man intermingled with hopes and fears, with joys and sorrows, with pleasure and pain.
Edmond Burke